By any means necessary

Nurses are the key.

The doctor shows up late in the game, the doula is limited in what she can do, but the nurses can make or break a labor. At least according to people that have recently been through this. Furthermore, shifts change, and we can go from an idyllic relationship with the folk song singing Misses Garret of nurses, to the bitter, calloused hands of Cruella DeVil in a blink.

So we're bringing out the big guns. Digging deep into our bag of tricks, we're making ahead of time, and bringing in large quantities, peanut butter fudge. Originally introduced to screaming kids by one "Weasie" Louise Jenks, the recipe has been a staple for those most trying times. And for you loyal readers out there, it's revealed below in all its glory. Use in moderation, it's powerful stuff.

Weasie Bars

1 Cup smooth peanut butter

1/3 lb Graham Crackers

2 sticks melted butter

1 lb powdered sugar

Mix above in a blender until smooth. Spread flat in a 9" x 13" pan.

Melt 12 oz of chocolate chips and pour over the peanut butter mixture. Refrigerate before cutting into pieces.