Modern Marvels

The field of parenting has seen some amazing advances over the years. So much help is available to us now that our parents never got to enjoy. Why, we have been able to replace the entire wisdom of a village of elders with a single shelf at Borders. To wit, some of my favorite inventions listed below:

The kid keeper. One quick yank and the emergency parachute will slow her down long enough for you to finish that article you were reading before she took off.

Mylicon: one out of 4 babies experience painful gas-even newborns. Be prepared. God forbid we would be unprepared. Heck, baby gas is going to be the greatest thing to happen to us since we learned to blame the dog. (I just love the picture on this site. Tell me that kid is not proud of himself)

and while we are on the topic of medication...

PediaCalm, for those nights when you just have to get some sleep. Featuring No alcohol, bicarbonate or sugar. How does it work? Who cares? Get your child started out right by medicating them early and often. Now in fun shapes and colors. Soon they will all be BEGGING for more.

And sometimes you just have to draw a line in the sand and DEMAND that you're child behaves. Who better to lead us boldly into that uncharted territory than Mary Lou Henner.


Lastly, if you're unsure of how your family pet is dealing with the trauma of a newborn in your home, allow them to express themselves through fashion. After all, they have an important role in raising your child too.